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A Fresh Look at a Long-Standing Conundrum

I always believed 'discovering your passion' was beyond me.  It was for other people, but I just didn't have a thing I was supposed to be doing.  I thought it had to be something I wanted to do – paint, write, direct, cure people, …  I always saw do what you love as an action.  It didn't occur to me that it could be a cause.  Now I see it can be and has been my whole life about Feminism--equality for girls and women. 

When in third grade I declared, "I am a boy," it wasn't about gender – it was about equality.  All around me I saw boys were treated differently and better than girls.  I saw them get special consideration in the classroom, more excuses for bad behavior, and more freedom.  I saw that boys got to do what they wanted and ask for what they wanted with full expectation that they would get it.    

Throughout my life I argued and fought for equality.  I ran into numerous situations (metaphysically created?) that required me to stand up and demand equal treatment.  I fought sexual harassment on the job and in my personal life.  I wrote letters, protested, signed petitions, and used my vote.  I supported organizations that fought for women's rights, the ERA, reproductive rights, and equality, but I never saw it as a job or career.  I never saw my core belief in feminism as something I was supposed to do in my life. It was something I believed and I would speak up for and then, as a separate thing, I was supposed to figure out what I was meant to do.

Somehow, in spite of all the therapy, support groups, counseling, new thought, Law of Attraction work and self-examination, I kept struggling with my lack of purpose, my lack of what to do.  Whenever people would say, "what makes your heart sing?" or "do what you love and the money will follow."  I was stumped.  Do what? What can I do?  What should I do? 

And then there was the constant drumbeat of criticism in my brain about what the hell was wrong with me.  Why  didn't I know?  It was so easy to see other people's paths and help them. 

There are many things I am good at and I enjoy.  And I have skills, mad skills.  I am organized, creative, smart, persistent, and I have a gift for communicating ideas.  Still, I would feel like an oddball.  Why didn't I have this clear idea of what I was meant to do like everyone else I knew? 

I have been prattling and complaining about the lack of equality for females since I could talk.  Now, I see that I can bring to the cause of feminism all the skills, experience, passion, and talent that I have.  I still don't know how this translates to a career or even a job, but I know I am supposed to be doing anything and everything I do for something that matters to me at a core level.  That is my passion.  Feminism, equality for girls and women, is my raison d'être.
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