Must Get Past This Block

I haven't blogged much lately.  It has not been for lack of ideas.  It has been too many ideas.  I have had difficulty bringing them together into cohesive blogs.  They hit like big fat raindrops and before I can catch the thought – the next raindrop hits. 

It is wonderful to have all my creative engines firing.  Now, if I can focus the energy into one direction at a time I will be able to get something done.

I had to maneuver the minefields of obtaining health insurance and attend various doctor appointments over the last two months.  I see a direct correlation between having health insurance, using Western medicine, and how many doctor appointments I have.  I have had insurance for 2 years and I have been to see more doctors, had more scans and x-rays, appliances, physical therapy, and diagnoses than in the previous 20 years.  I am willing to admit that by not going to the doctor some things may have been percolating and have just come to the surface, but it is more than that.

It is the system. The messed up system of scattered treatments, specialists, disconnect from costs, lack of transparency in costs, constant referrals and erring on the side of dependence on tests.  At least, that is how I see it.  I am not denying I have been in pain, unable to walk, unable to sit, and I am better than I was.  I still cannot kneel or sit long or walk far, but I am better. 

No one doctor has all my information and it is not from lack of me giving it to everyone.  There is no communication between doctors.  There is no one source or one place with all the information.  And because I have had to change primary doctors three times and insurance companies three times in three years – there is even less connection.

The plans I had were discontinued or changed; my doctor wasn't on the list anymore.  Any number of reasons and too many too list.  And I spent hours trying to decide which plan, compare information.  It is like me comparing complex math equations – I am looking at numbers on a chalkboard without any comprehension of what the equations mean.  There is no way to really compare costs – financial or physical.  There is no way to figure out ahead of time what I might need next year.  And there is no way to know what any of the costs are. Take 30% coinsurance as an example--since there is no way to know what the cash price of a visit or test is let alone the contracted rate, 30% of what?

I know 10 people personally who all had to go through this same process and we all struggled.  It is confusing, overwhelming, stressful, and unnecessarily complicated.  Part of the problem is the difficulty of using healthcare.gov and another part is having to go through each insurance company's site and looking for doctors and checking medicines.  Of course, all this is exacerbated by not having a state exchange and the subtle and sometimes overt discrimination against people going through the marketplace. There must be an easier way.  I don't know the answer but I do know this is not working. 

I spent 20 years without insurance and I had to measure the cost of every medicine, every trip to the doctor, every recommended test, and really take charge of my own health care.  I used alternative medicines and found a doctor that would work with me.  I checked prices of tests, medicines, and doctor visits.  I checked everything before doing it.  I am glad it is easier to get basic preventative checks done such as mammograms and annual physicals, but we have to do better than this.  I am sure we can do better than this.

Now, I feel like I have gotten that off my chest and I also feel that I have turned a corner.  I am ready to take charge of my health again in a new way – in the paradigm of a new normal.  I am responsible for my well being and I am listening to my intuition again.