Thank you, Dr. Bell

Three years ago I purchased health insurance for the first time in almost 20 years thanks to the ACA.   I had moved to Austin the previous year and had to find a new doctor that was in my network.  I did my research and found a great doctor. 

First of all she was a she, which mattered to me.  Her approach to health care was holistic.   She had even done You Tube videos explaining how she treated the whole person.  She was younger than I, which boded well for long term care.  Even though it was a long drive to her office, when I met with Dr. Bell, I was sold. 

Dr. Bell was conscientious, respectful, and informed.  She listened to my history, validated my knowledge of my own body and explained everything she ordered to my satisfaction.  Her staff was extremely helpful and friendly.  I heaved a huge sigh of relief. 

I saw Dr. Bell several times that first year because I was having some back, hip, and neck issues and she had to order the physical therapy.  Every time was easy and I felt confident in her care.  I had to change insurance companies and plans at the end of year one because the same plan wasn't offered in the marketplace. 

I was able to get a plan that had Dr. Bell in network.   In the second year my annual went seamlessly.  I was pleased.  But, later that year I went back for another issue and the appointments were mixed up, prescriptions were not called in and Dr. Bell seemed preoccupied. 

Sad to say, my judgment reared up and I thought she was just too busy and trying to treat too many patients.  I blamed the health care system.  I was disappointed.  In the meantime I had to start looking for a new plan and another company because, again the plan was no longer offered and, in fact, the company was not offering plans through the marketplace at all.  I still felt that maybe the problems at Dr. Bell's might be a fluke so I looked for and found a plan with her in network. 

I also looked up a few other doctors in that plan as a backup in case.  While I was in that process (last fall) I received a letter from Dr. Bell explaining that she was taking a medical leave of absence due to MS.  I was shocked and felt so badly about my judgment.  Suddenly, everything made sense. 

I was disappointed in myself and sad for Dr. Bell and all her patients.  It was a wake up call for me to keep in mind that I cannot know what is going on with others.  Everything that happens is not about me.   Here she was going through a horrific health challenge and I could only think why can't she take better care of me?  I found a new doctor closer to home. 

The new doctor is able, but not thorough, holistic in approach, or validating.  The clinic I go to now is much more a factory and although the staff is amiable, I don't really get the feeling I am an individual.  Tests are run according to a list of recommended tests and treatments proscribed by the insurance company and then it is on to the next person.  I feel that I have to be the doctor now.  I have to mind my own health and check my test results against each other from one year to the next.  And honestly, with having to change insurance companies and plans every year it is hard to get any continuity with a doctor.  I must be the doctor. 

I have missed Dr. Bell and prayed and wondered how she is many times the past months.  Yesterday, I got another letter from her and she is leaving medical practice.  She is in her third relapse of MS.  I cried a bit when I got her letter.  I appreciate that she was there for me and helped me to ease into having health insurance and how that affects the interaction between doctor and patient.  I am sorry for her relapse and grateful for her care of me.  Thank you, Dr. Bell.