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Oh Bloody Hell

It has been an emotional, eventful, evocative brutal beast of a month. 

I began November by staging and performing a wedding at my home.  It was lovely and I was happy to be a part of dear friends joining their lives.  At the same time I was starting a new business.  I was super excited about it and ready to roll as soon as I could get a website going and let the universe know I was open for business.  Feeling stressed and anxious but focused forward. 

And then, the Election – devastation and pain.  It had been stressful and anxiety producing for months.   The result was a plunk into depression, sadness, grief, anger, fear, and hurt.  I was in a fetal position for days.  I am still raw and consistently seeking peace.  I think the hardest part is realizing my sense of reality – my sense of who we are as Americans and what our country stands for and is about, is not real.  I feel unmoored, scared and unsure. 

On top of all that we took a trip visiting ill friends, bereft friends, and just-lost-their-job friends.  As an added benefit, I have had an upper respiratory infection for almost a full month.  It has taken so much energy to try and fight the infection and get rest.  I think a full week in bed might have been a wise move, but hey, Thanksgiving. 

Then we had a family member visit for a week.  It is amazing how little people can have in common.  There was not a topic or an activity that we could agree on.  Constant entertaining, events, and planning takes energy.  Energy that I was pretty depleted of when the week started. 

Now, I am planning yet another trip this weekend with no voice and still reeling from the month.  I don't know when I have ever looked forward to a quiet Christmas as much as I do this year.  I don't have any solutions or any comforting tales to tell.  What I do have is a supportive network of friends, a solid connection to source, and the knowledge that right now today I am okay. 
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