The Red Flags Are Guidance

A few months ago I had a costly (financially, emotionally, and physically) experience with a dentist.  When doing my forgiveness work and reviewing what I had learned, I realized there were numerous warning signs that preceding with this dentist was a mistake.  I ignored them.  In order to reinforce my hard-won wisdom, I told those near and dear to please remind me of this the next time I seemed to be in a similar situation.

And they remembered.  Sadly, I did not. 

Recently, my doctor gave me a referral order for a colonoscopy.  Since I am still learning the whole insurance game, I checked to see if the doctor was in my network.  I couldn't find him in my network on the website so I called the insurance company.  The person who helped me was very pleasant and went to a great deal of trouble to okay my going to that particular doctor.  She told me there were no doctors in my network within 30 miles, which was why I said okay.  She also told me that the plan was very new and many doctors had just not signed on yet.  First red flag.  

The doctor's office contacted me and told me to download 6 pages of forms and fill them out and mail them (seriously, snail mail) to them to see if I needed to come in for a pre-screening appointment.  The forms were mostly duplicates of the forms I had already done for my primary care physician two weeks ago and for the same association of doctors.  They were generic forms – medications, family history of disease, insurance information, privacy information, and preferred pharmacy.  There were no questions about my digestive health or history. How could they pre-screen without asking anything specific to the procedure?  Second red flag. 

Then they called in the prescription for the prep and my pharmacy called to tell me that the prep wasn't covered by my insurance and would cost over $100.  I said no way.  They said they would call the doctor back and see if they could change it.  When I called the next day they said that the doctor had not replied. 

I called the doctor's office and told the assistant the situation and asked if he could use something else.  Her reply, "This is the only prep he uses because the other one is like a gallon and no one ever finishes it."  Really?  That's your answer to your patient.  When I told her how much it cost she said that no insurance covered it and she hadn't heard of it being more than $70.  When I continued to refuse to get the prep recommended, she finally said I could come to their office (a 32 mile round trip) and pick up a sample.  Third red flag.

Then I got a confirmation email from them for the colonoscopy and it had a different address (different city actually) than the one she had given me over the phone.  I called again and asked about it.  "Oh, the computer doesn't know the difference," she said.  Now, I know enough about computer programs to know that if the computer doesn't know the difference between addresses it is because someone has not put the information in correctly.  Red flag number 4. 

But still, I didn't know if I should try and go through the whole process of trying to find another doctor, call the insurance, set up appointments, fill out paperwork….  Crazy, I know.   All through this process I had been treating and affirming to be guided to the right doctor.  I believed I trusted the truth of the guidance but was a little angry that it didn't seem to be working.

Lucky for me, I told a dear friend all about my travails and anxiety and she told me to pay attention.  She reminded me that the red flags were guidance.  Oh, right!  Following guidance requires me to alter course at times and to listen to my intuition. 

As soon as she said that to me, I canceled the colonoscopy with the doctor.  I called my insurance and they had eight doctors in my network by now.  I called the first one and got my pre-screening appointment.  And I felt a complete release.  I let it go. 

I felt the trust that had been lacking all this time because I was finally listening. It is surprising how often I ignore those twists in the gut or mental twinges instead of acknowledging them as the vital messages they are.  I was being guided.  I am always being guided.