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I'm Not Judging Judging


I'm not judging judging. A friend was telling me a story the other day about how much another friend had hurt their feelings. This person felt judged and found wanting for how they handled a circumstance in their life.

I could empathize. I know what it feels like to have someone you care about insult or question how you feel and what you do. Their feelings were truly hurt and they felt rejected. I've felt that too. The feelings are valid and I understand.

I know how those feelings have affected me. I have learned that feelings of rejection, anger, and suffering only hurt me. It is especially damaging when I am wallowing in self-righteousness and recounting the ills to someone else. I am then committing the exact same betrayal of friendship that I feel was done to me. In this situation, I also found myself judging the person (also my friend) who had judged my friend. Now there's a pickle.

I am judging, judging.

So, today I am striving to not respond with anger, defensiveness, or self-pity when I feel judged. It is a worthy goal and a pretty tough one to achieve. It is much easier when I remember that judgments are like free speech and opinions and everyone is entitled and I don't have to agree. I also don't have to disagree. For my sanity and peace, I can only suspend judgment of me and everyone else.
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