Stage 2

I haven't been spending much time, enough time really, navel-gazing lately.  I've been floating along and not examining my feelings and my motives.  I have been following the id path – I want, I don't want.  And that is about as deep as it has gone.  I miss the self examination, and, at the same time, I like that I am thinking about other things. 

For instance, I have been overloaded with learning how to navigate using health insurance and catching up on my personal medical checklist (the one I have formed while waiting "until I have insurance".).   I have been setting up appointments, spending countless hours on the phone and online with my insurance company trying to understand how things work.  I had to find a doctor which doesn't seem like it would be a big deal.  You just look on your network list and call for an appointment, right?  No, apparently doctors don't really want to take patients that are over 40, soooooo, I had to make many calls to find one.

The benefit --I got a really good doctor.  I used my research skills, my organizational ability and then I set my intuition to high.   I had my first visit yesterday and I am pleased.  The staff is pleasant and helpful.  The practice is small and maneuverable, the doctor is knowledgeable and, most of all, really listened and treated me with respect.  I did not feel judged or rushed at all. 

Next step is to set up all the lab tests, imaging, and outpatient procedures that are required for a full physical.  I am going to follow the Buffy rule here of just set em' up and knock them down one at a time.  Obviously, patience and staying in the present moment are key here.  Today, I might get through the 'to do' list and I might not, and either way, it's all good.

I am taking huge steps in setting up my altered life.  I am feeling more comfortable in Austin all the time.  When my friend told me that it takes 3 years to feel comfortable in a new city, I thought that was an exaggeration.  It's not.  It has been 19 months and I am finally seeing real progress.  I have more patience with finding a home-a doctor-a spiritual community-a job-a stylist-a favorite clothes store-a mechanic-well, you get the idea. 

I thought I would move here and set up my replacement world.  That is not how it works.  You move and then you slowly figure out what your new world is going to look and feel like and then you set it up, one piece at a time. 

I am glad to have reached this stage in the process.  I feel good.  I think letting go of the pressure I was putting on myself to get everything set in stone allowed me to trust my intuition, to trust myself, and to trust the universe because I can see that all my needs are met and exceeded.