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If You Won't Listen, I'll Find Someone Who Will

Standing up for myself has been a key element in my growth.  I need to be able to state my truth, my needs, and my boundaries.  The thing is it doesn't end there.  When I am not being heard, when the other party is not listening to me, I need and I want to be willing to say – bye, I'm off to find someone who will listen to me.

I had a terrible experience with my colonoscopy last week.  I had misgivings before I went.  Not getting return calls, incomplete instructions.  I had been completely honest and aboveboard about my condition and specific abnormalities. I spoke up.   I said what needed to be said.  I was asking for help and still, I was dismissed.  When I got there – well, I was told I had not done what was required and had not followed instructions – I had and some of the instructions they said I did not follow, I didn't even receive.   I have bruises all over my arms from attempted needle insertion.  I feel sore and I feel as though I was dismissed, disrespected, called a liar and blamed for their problems. 

That being said, it was my choice to stay when they wouldn't listen.  I could have left.  I will leave in the future.  Preferably I can state my position calmly and firmly and leave.  And it's okay to raise my voice or make a grand exit if that is what it takes.   

Here I have been spending so many years learning to speak up for myself and to say no that I neglected to get the part where if the other person doesn't listen to no or an explanation or a boundary – then it's okay to find someone who will.   In fact, it is more than okay.  It is imperative to say "thanks but no thanks" and move along.  A new layer of lessons for getting through life.  I am so grateful for the chance to see this from a new perspective. 


I am especially grateful to my dear friend, A, for helping me see the gem hidden in the mound of self-pity and self-righteousness.  The world is full of people who are ready to help, to listen, and to guide me.  I don't have to spend energy or time trying to make anyone act as I think.   I am speaking for me and I will be heard.  And if the first person (or second, or third) doesn't pay attention, I'll find someone who does.   
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  1. Dennis TardanMay 20, 2014 at 9:40 PM

    What a journey, darling Melissa. I'm learning so much beside you and we are in this together. I am so proud of you and of us

    ReplyDelete

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