I believe that life reflects and manifests what I expect and
imbue with emotion. Usually when I am in
the process of a project, plan or decision, I can see the outline clearly, but
the specifics take time to work out. Sometimes
they are fuzzy and sometimes I am uneasy about a detail even after it is
set. This is key to figuring out what I
want and getting it.
A great example is our recent vacation plans. Everything was set—dates, flight, car, hotel,
attractions and friends to visit. I felt
really excited about everything except the lodging. I was uncomfortable and couldn't say why. First I came up with a lame reason about
there might not be a comfortable chair in the room. After further research and discovering there
was a chair and a balcony, I still felt unsettled.
I kept trying to tell my feelings to shush and just focus on
what was wonderful about the trip. It
didn't work. I was out-of-sorts and
tired and kept thinking about it. I was
working so hard to disregard my feelings, that my emotions leaked out in other
ways. In other words, I was quick to
anger, overly sensitive to imagined slights, and cranky. You would think after all these years I would
pay attention sooner, but it is still a process. I know that my feelings won't stay
buried. If I don't express them or
address them appropriately, I will inappropriately.
Time to listen to what my inner wisdom was trying to tell
me. I started to ask myself questions
about the trip. What did I want my
morning to look and feel like, what things mattered most to me, what did I want
to get out of this vacation? The answers
became more solid. Then I enlisted my
husband and told him my vision of the trip and asked him about his. It turned out he valued many of the same
things I did. He is an extrovert and I
am an introvert, but we both love our mornings to be lazy and restful,
especially on vacation. So, the idea of
being able to take a walk on the beach first thing in the morning and watch the
water while drinking coffee is a huge plus for us.
We are don't want to go and sit on the beach for 6 or 7
hours at a time. We like to go visit the
beach 3 or 4 times a day and do other things in between. Like refreshing sips of a cool drink on a hot
day. Having close access to a beach went
to the top of our list. The hotel we had
booked was 4 miles from the nearest public beach and a couple of blocks from the
water. It would not do.
Budget, distance from attractions and airport were
considerations. We both wanted to stay
out of really fancy hotels as we want this to be a casual trip. We also wanted some kitchen facilities so we
could enjoy breakfast in the room and make coffee or tea and have a snack at
will. With our new list of priorities in
mind, research commenced.
We now have a reservation at a lovely older smaller hotel on
the beach with a kitchenette. We walk
out of our room and are on the beach. The unsettled feelings are replaced with
excitement and anticipation.
Once I start listening to my intuition and get clarity about
what I really want, it is easy to make changes.
Decisions become easy when what really matters is uncovered and honestly
discussed. When I realize I am uncomfortable about
something I need to follow through.
First think specifically about what makes me
uncomfortable. Then be willing to sit
with it, write about it, talk about it and ask some challenging questions. My experience has been that it takes some
time. Usually, my first ideas as to what
is making me unhappy are wrong or superfluous.
My second and third thoughts are deeper and more important. The answers have always come, as long as I
have been willing to keep asking the question, "what do you want?"
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