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Not Really Indestructible

Last weekend I injured my low back.  I am sure it was the accumulation of years of not bending over correctly, injuries from car accidents that weren't treated, lack of exercise, and age.  Still, when it happened I was stretching.  I was doing yoga poses and pilates stretches.  While I was stretching, it felt wonderful.  I could feel my body respond and relax. 

About 20 minutes later, the pain started.  I have had many aches and pains but never in that particular spot.  I couldn't find a position that didn't hurt.  I struggled for about 3 hours until finally my husband suggested I lie flat on my back with lumbar support.  That, plus mega meds helped me through the night and the next day.  By Sunday I was able to get up and go see a chiropractor.  Sadly, it was not a magic fix.  It is better.  I can find positions that don't hurt for minutes at a time.  I have had to be very careful how I move, how I bend, what I pick up, and how.  I cannot sit for very long without extreme pain. 

All those times people said "warm up before you exercise", I disregarded it.  I arrogantly (due to the durability of my body in youth) decided it didn't apply to me.  The attitude of rules not applying to me has permeated my life.   I have worked to color within the lines because I have learned that the rules do apply to me.  I just didn't see it in this instance. 

It has been a tough lesson to learn.  I need to listen to my body.  I need to move slower and more carefully.  I need to warm up.  I need to have an actual exercise regimen instead of random stretching when I feel like it and of my choosing.   My body has done an amazing job of keeping up with the demands I put upon it, but as with anything there comes a time when the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

That's where I am now.  Accepting the limitations of my body and the laws of physics.  It has been a very humbling experience.  I felt frail and easily breakable.  I stared at the ceiling and felt the discomfort, the pain, and the helplessness of my situation.  I felt afraid and hopeless.  By Saturday afternoon I started to believe I could get better and I would be able to move around again.  Then I felt overwhelming compassion and gratitude. 

I want to appreciate this opportunity to make some changes.  I want to take better care of my body.  I want to stop the degeneration at this stage.  I don't want to be decrepit.  My impatient mind tells me to get busy getting fit.  My sense tells me to heal and then start a real exercise program with advice and help from an expert. I know there are things I cannot do anymore, and I accept that, but I want to age gracefully and I want to be mobile.
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