Skip to main content

Burbling Water

Water gurgles and churns out of the rainspout right next to my desk.  It is on the other side of the wall, but the walls are thin and I feel as though I am in a burbling stream.  It is a pleasant and soothing sound. 

It makes me think of late spring and early summer days in my childhood.  I remember the beauty and freedom of exploration in the Pennsylvania countryside.  We tromped for hours through the woods and pastures.  We had cookouts and climbed trees.  I remember a beautiful old stone house with a spring where we would get fresh ice-cold water with a cup that the woman who owned the house left out for us to use. 

It was a time when a child could leave the house in the morning and return in time for supper.  I loved climbing trees.  The feeling of safety I got sitting in a tree is something I still seek to recapture.  There was a mulberry tree with a rudimentary platform tree house that I spent untold hours in reading books.   Those are lovely memories and more. 


The more is the feeling of contentment that I felt then and there.  The rest of my life was chaotic.  There was anger, violence, abandonment, and pain in my home.  But, out in the tree—forest—nature was a completely different experience.  I am grateful to have the clear memory of that feeling.  It is what I believe true peace of mind feels like and it is the feeling I reach for in my daily meditation.  I sit here today seeing the trees out of my office window and hearing the gurgling water and I am grateful to feel it again.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Overwhelmed

I had been chiding myself or really driving myself crazy trying to figure out how to address the torrent of shocking, frightening, unbelievable new policies, orders and changes to our society.  I have been zooming back and forth – a call here, a letter there, a petition, protests, town halls, posting – trying to figure out what I can do.  The feeling of inadequacy is compounded by my physical limitations.  This morning I realized that if I had 500 times the energy and 1000 times the physical strength, stamina, and fitness I still wouldn’t be able to address all that I care about.  There is simply too much.    There are numerous things that touch on my personal life, things that hurt people I know and love, and things that are wrong and impact many people.  I am for free speech, civil rights, reproductive rights, voting rights, equality, a welcoming immigration system, a government that works for the people.  I care about education, social servic...
1 comment
Read more

Harborsick

I feel harborsick.  I am not homesick because I don't really feel a sense of home anywhere.  I read books about people who are so comfortable and familiar in their towns, homes, work, and relationships and I don't feel that right now.  I do feel that there are familiar harbors – people and places that I feel comfortable and "at home" with.   But, I don't have a spot I long to put anchor.  There is not a place I belong . I want to claim my familiar harbor.   A feeling of belonging and purpose and where I know I am always welcome and I can be completely comfortable and myself.  I want to feel there is a place I can return to and feel I fit.  A port where everyone speaks my language.  A Cheers vibe if you will. I was talking to my sister this morning and she brought up some ancestral ties to other countries and where we would like to visit.  There are a few countries I would like to visit.  Italy, especially, has al...
Post a Comment
Read more

Patterns

I wonder how much of my jaded instantaneous instinct to squelch is learned and how much is a part of my personality.  I so quickly turn to no.  Yet, I feel that as a child I was sunny.  I was bright and wanted to believe in hope and good.  My experiences as a child and the ways of reacting to life I saw as examples in my life were the exact opposite of hope and good.    How much damage did the abuse do?  What did it change or form in me? Was nature part of it – did I pick up skepticism from my parents through DNA?  It is easy to trace some responses in my life directly to what I saw modeled.  Other things I have worked for years to change my reaction to learn a new way.  That is just as important and it might be that it only redirected me back to my natural essence.    I wonder about these things.  And a part of me examines my thoughts and responses to events in life from things as simple as a chance remark overheard t...
Post a Comment
Read more