Face Value

Few things are so sure and simple that they can be taken at face value. Face value – the very description tells you that you have no idea what is going on underneath. Face is what you see and only what you see. We are reminded over and over to look further than the surface with aphorisms like: don’t judge a book by it’s cover, beauty is only skin deep, and still waters run deep.

In spite of knowing that what I see on the outside of a person, or situation is only a portion and often misleading, I still find myself making snap judgments based on how someone looks, talks, or acts. It takes practice to override first reactions and to try to look deeper.

For me, the important thing is to know I am prone to make that judgment and just that awareness helps me to look again and to look for more. I try to catch myself by listening to the offhand remarks in my head about everything I see and hear.

Another thing that helps is when this kind of judgment is turned on me. When someone reacts to me in an unexpected way and I realize that they are attributing feelings, motives, or agendas to me that are not the ones I have. Or perhaps they are just reacting the way I look.

Of course, other people do not know what I am thinking or my intent or motivations. They don't know who I am. They are going by what they see and not what I know.

That is true for everyone. I cannot change my nature, it is human nature to use our senses to make evaluations of situations and people. Bred into us. What I can do is to make an effort to be more direct and honest about who I am and what I mean. And that is not simple.