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Intentions Not Expectations


I believe we are each inherently valuable. I believe being is what we are here to do and anything else is extra. And I believe that if you want to know what you believe, look at your life. So, do I really believe that being is more important than doing?

Yesterday I had a plan- I had intentions to do a number of things. I did the first and I was ahead of schedule (mine) and the next place I planned to go wasn't open for 45 minutes. It threw my entire plan off. I ended up going home and not fulfilling my intentions. Then I felt like a lazy sluggard and slacker the rest of the day.

I tried to make myself feel better by doing some other things like laundry, cleaning, and exercise. I had started the day by taking my husband to the bus station and stopping at the grocery store (before my plans went awry) and I picked him back up after cooking dinner. Still, it did not feel like enough. I didn't feel like enough.

What is enough? It's like my actions don't meet my intentions and that is where that old "not enough" refrain comes in. Expectations are the crux of the problem here. I don't just 'intend' to do something, I expect to do it on my schedule and to my specs. A non-productive pattern, since in my experience actions never meet intentions exactly. That is why they are called intentions. I want to feel like doing my best is enough. Expectations are always a stumbling block to spiritual acceptance and to peace. I am enough. I do enough. I release the connection between intention and expectation. They are not the same. I choose peace.

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