Skip to main content

Both Sides of the Question


I take great pleasure in asking questions.  I delight in my curiosity.  I experience it every day.  I am grateful for this delicious part of my personality.  I love to understand the how, why, what, and wherefore of a situation or problem. Questions are integral to my process.  They come naturally to my mind.   I see how they can help me and others function and progress in our world.  I love learning.

When someone asks me a question and I don't have a ready answer, I become anxious.  I berate myself for not knowing.  Until this morning I did not see this paradox in my attitude.  I am always willing to ask questions because I don't understand, yet expect that I should always have an answer when someone asks me a question.

If I truly already had ALL the answers, I could not and would not relish asking questions.   I would be a walking encyclopedia—a repository of information, but I would have no new vistas to explore. 

Learning a new skill, understanding how something works, helping a person develop a plan,  clarifying a problem, or guiding someone along their path are all vital to who I am and my greatest joy.   I could not teach if I could not learn.  I could not impart the need for curiosity and the desire for understanding if I did not possess it. 

All of life is a balance.   There can be no giving without receiving.  The idea of taking delight in admitting I don’t have an answer is new and might take some practice, but I am intrigued to try it.  I can envision jumping to the task of finding out the answer when asked a for a solution.  There is no shame in learning.  There is only pleasure whether I am asking the question, providing the answer, or joining the search.   

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Overwhelmed

I had been chiding myself or really driving myself crazy trying to figure out how to address the torrent of shocking, frightening, unbelievable new policies, orders and changes to our society.  I have been zooming back and forth – a call here, a letter there, a petition, protests, town halls, posting – trying to figure out what I can do.  The feeling of inadequacy is compounded by my physical limitations.  This morning I realized that if I had 500 times the energy and 1000 times the physical strength, stamina, and fitness I still wouldn’t be able to address all that I care about.  There is simply too much.    There are numerous things that touch on my personal life, things that hurt people I know and love, and things that are wrong and impact many people.  I am for free speech, civil rights, reproductive rights, voting rights, equality, a welcoming immigration system, a government that works for the people.  I care about education, social servic...

Harborsick

I feel harborsick.  I am not homesick because I don't really feel a sense of home anywhere.  I read books about people who are so comfortable and familiar in their towns, homes, work, and relationships and I don't feel that right now.  I do feel that there are familiar harbors – people and places that I feel comfortable and "at home" with.   But, I don't have a spot I long to put anchor.  There is not a place I belong . I want to claim my familiar harbor.   A feeling of belonging and purpose and where I know I am always welcome and I can be completely comfortable and myself.  I want to feel there is a place I can return to and feel I fit.  A port where everyone speaks my language.  A Cheers vibe if you will. I was talking to my sister this morning and she brought up some ancestral ties to other countries and where we would like to visit.  There are a few countries I would like to visit.  Italy, especially, has al...

Patterns

I wonder how much of my jaded instantaneous instinct to squelch is learned and how much is a part of my personality.  I so quickly turn to no.  Yet, I feel that as a child I was sunny.  I was bright and wanted to believe in hope and good.  My experiences as a child and the ways of reacting to life I saw as examples in my life were the exact opposite of hope and good.    How much damage did the abuse do?  What did it change or form in me? Was nature part of it – did I pick up skepticism from my parents through DNA?  It is easy to trace some responses in my life directly to what I saw modeled.  Other things I have worked for years to change my reaction to learn a new way.  That is just as important and it might be that it only redirected me back to my natural essence.    I wonder about these things.  And a part of me examines my thoughts and responses to events in life from things as simple as a chance remark overheard t...