Night Noises

I am a light sleeper and easily awakened by noises in the night.  I have old anxieties related to night noises, therefore my overreaction is normal—for me. 

Because snores, sirens, barks, and creaks can wake me, I wear earplugs.  Most of the time they work very well.  And sometimes they don't. When you wear earplugs every night going to sleep only in silence, and the earplug doesn't work correctly, every tiny sound is like a crash and gets me going. 

When I wake up in the middle of the night it is difficult to get back to sleep if I hear even the faintest of noises.  The fan in the bathroom, the wind in the trees, and the breathing of the person in bed with me. I try changing earplugs because sometimes they come loose.  If it works, I am off to dreamland again. 

If it doesn't, I become so aware of each sound and my inability to fall back asleep that I get frustrated and angry.  I will be tired.  Why can't I sleep.  The truth is, the real problem is not in my ears, it is in my brain.  I wake up enough for the gears to start turning.

And once the thinking is started, I find it almost impossible to stop.  What is interesting is that it isn't always worrying or obsessing about anything in particular.  It is just thinking.  The endless flow of thoughts, one leading to another in a pattern that only makes sense to me. 

I try " “go to sleep” tricks like singing the words to all the songs in The Sound of Music, alphabet games, spelling difficult words, and saying prayers repetitively.  Sometimes it works, and sometimes I have to get up and do some reading, writing, or watching tv to clear my mind.  Often, when I come back to bed, I am able to sleep.

And sometimes none of that works.  I am just awake and my mind is racing.  There is nothing to be done but start the day early. 

I sure wish there were internal earplugs for my brain. Imagine if I could block the sound of my thoughts so I could rest.  What an amazing experience that could be.