I Claim My Feelings Sans Explanations

Self doubt is an interesting thing.   To not trust yourself with the most mundane and important thing imaginable-your own needs.  For instance, I feel hot but I don't believe I should be hot, so I go check the thermostat.  What is that about?  It is about not trusting myself, not believing I matter.  To be so disrespectful of myself as to discount my own feelings unless there is a good reasons to have them, is a betrayal of self.   It is believing in a circumstance outside of me-some arbitrary standard-instead of my own reality.

If I am hungry, tired, cold, thirsty, sad, angry, frustrated, or happy-I can learn to accept that is how I feel and not look to find a "reason" why I feel that way.  Feelings don't make sense.  They don't follow a pattern of logic.  They just are.  Feelings are not dependent on external conditions. 

Yet, I find myself trying to make them fit into a checklist of excuses, reasons, or rationalizations.  I can be tired whether I had enough sleep or not.  The conditions inside me are the ones I need to pay attention to.  I don't need an excuse for any feeling I have, what I need is to listen to my body, my mind, my feelings and accept.  It is only through accepting my feelings without judgment that I can then address the corresponding need.

If I feel tired, I can rest.  If I feel hot, I can turn up the a/c.  If I feel sad, I can write or cry or ask for a hug.  It is impossible to address my needs unless I acknowledge my needs.  And looking for a reason why I have the need before it is acceptable, is detrimental to my mental and spiritual wellbeing.  I respect myself and I trust my perception of reality.  I claim my feelings with no explanations.

The feeling of joy in the freedom from explanations is visceral.  I am.  I feel.  I state.  I care.  I trust.  I am worth believing.   And so it is.