Golden Rule

I was thinking of my list of world rules and checking internally to see if they still apply.  I conduct regular reviews of my beliefs and behaviors to see what is working and what isn’t.  When I got to the golden rule, I had to stop and contemplate how I was using it.  I realized that following the golden rule so rigorously has complicated my relationships with other people. 

 I treat them the way I want to be treated.  But, because I am an introvert I like to spend time thinking, reflecting and replenishing—alone.  So, I tend not to reach out and make a connection.  I assume that others want alone time which is not true.  I assume they space out social interaction which is also not true.

 It also translates to me not sharing much of my life unless asked specifically.  Somehow in my mind that shows up with others as not asking them questions about their lives.  I think of it as being private and respectful.  It has occurred to me that others probably see it as a lack of interest in them. 

 I am learning how to ask questions and overcome my natural aversion to them.  In the house I grew up in questions always meant criticism and usually punishment.  I don’t want to be defined by those old patterns.  I care and am interested in what people are doing, thinking, and creating.  Now, I just need to show it in a way that makes my intentions clear.

 So I am adjusting the blanket application of the golden rule.  I want to be treated with respect, kindness, and equality.  I want to treat others with kindness, care, attention and respect.  I want to be present in relationship and show it. 

 My new golden rule is to treat others as they would like to be treated and that means paying attention to how they show up.  A way to do that is to notice how others interact with me.  We each show we care in our own individual ways based on personality, experience, and perspective.  More compassion, acceptance, and understanding will make all my relationships better.