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I Am Enough


I started to make a note this morning on a post it and immediately an irrational fear of running out of paper hit me. It was at the same time so intense and so ridiculous that I had to laugh and then think about it. Why the fear? No real reason, there is plenty of paper and I know that.

The fear is a reflexive response about not having enough - not enough paper, not enough food, not enough love and somehow it all correlates with not being enough. The roots of this feeling are buried deep in childhood and perhaps beyond.

They are buried in feeling denied and believing that I wasn't getting my share and there was only so much. I felt denied what I believed I needed, deserved, couldn't have. So I carry these feelings, these responses to life as I found it, forward into life as it is, and, if I am not paying attention, they direct my life today. I want to respond to life as it is today and as I am today - enough.

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