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A Trip To the Dentist (Thanks Rob Thomas)


Recently, I went to the dentist for a cleaning and exam.  I moved to a new city several months ago and it was a new dentist.  I had purchased a Groupon for the exam and cleaning. 

It was a terrible experience.  I was taken to a room and an assistant took xrays and poked my gums to check if I needed a "deep cleaning" and then called the dentist in.  He looked at my teeth and confirmed I did need the deep cleaning. 

While the dentist was examining my teeth he rested his arm on my breast.  I have been to many doctors, dentists, chiropractors and never had anything like that happen to me before.  I was so stunned; I didn't say a word.  It was only a few minutes but I really felt violated. 

Then he left and I (trying to address something approaching normal) asked about the cost for the extra cleaning and was directed to the front desk.  It would be another $139 and had to be scheduled at another time.  Thanks for coming and don't let the door hit you.  I never got any cleaning.  Not even a polish or floss.

I really had to do some thinking about it afterward.  Why didn't I speak up immediately?  Well, the truth is that I am not a person who thinks and responds quickly.  I am a processor.  I have to think things through and examine my feelings and then I speak.  So after I came home and talked about how I felt about the experience.  I wrote about it and then I wrote a review telling what happened.  I felt it was important to let people know.  I am very good about writing a review for good service and it has to work both ways.

I let go of it at that point.  That was 5 months ago.  Yesterday, I got a call from the district manager.  She was pressuring me to change my review and remove the part about him putting his arm on my breast.  She did not apologize or even acknowledge that I was offended.  She made excuses and tried to get me to feel sorry for him by saying he was a young dentist and it could ruin his practice.  I told her I thought he should learn to be more careful with his female patients. 

Finally, I agreed to look at the review again.  I did look and I had made quite a mild statement about the dentist resting his arm on my breast while he checked my teeth.  And it was in the middle of a long explanation about how they tried to get me to pay for a more expensive treatment.  

I wrote about it and talked about it briefly and left the decision till the morning.  But my brain continued to process and work on the issue.  I dreamed three dreams that were about feeling violated and 2 literally had to do with people touching my breasts.  From one I came to briefly and thought I should write this story down.

Ah the wonders of the human brain.  When  I woke this morning and remembered all the dreams so clearly and even the thought about telling the story, I realized I needed to tell my story.  That's the message.  I did feel violated and my space and person invaded.  I felt it was important to say what had happened because it happened.  I still feel it is important to state my truth and say I matter. 

I didn't change the review. 

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